Gene the Piano Queen
by agirlnotnamedsue
Summary: Gene Belcher drags his sister Louise to a piano bar but after Louise goes home for the night Gene hits it off with a strange boy with a pretty face. Bob's Burgers fan fiction.


Louise wasn't pleased.

But Gene didn't care. He wanted to go to the new nightclub in town and he definitely did not want to go alone. Sure, he seemed outgoing, but going alone to a new piano bar with a fake ID was not something he had enough courage to do. So he dragged Louise out of her room and out into the Saturday night with the promise that some guy would probably fuck up his song and possibly cry and run off of the stage.

"So...why are we going, again?" Louise asked.

"Because I wanna scope out the competition and see if I'm good enough to perform up there myself."

"First of all, I wouldn't consider it a 'competition' because is anyone really winning here? Second of all, you'd smoke those nerds don't worry about it."

"You can never be too sure. I don't wanna make a fool out of myself!" Gene said throwing his arms into the air.

"That's never stopped you before. Remember last month when you dragged me to that gay bar and drank so much you threw up on that go-go dancer's chest? You didn't give a shit about that."

Gene sighed, "Yeah well...this is different I guess."

"Whatever."

The bar smelled distinctly of white wine and hipster fedoras. Gene had a wide smile spread across his face despite the ambience. Louise, however, wasn't as excited as her brother was.

"OH MY GOD!" Gene yelled. "This place is amazing!"

"Eh...you sure?" Louise asked with a grimace on her face. A rough attempt at smooth jazz was coming from the corner of the bar where a twenty-something man with a somewhat mustache was clanking at the old grand piano. He finished his song and said, "Thank you very much!" to the crowd. "That piece is entitled 'Rush into Mayhem' an original."

"More like 'Rush into the Toilet and Vomit' am I right?" She went to nudge Gene but he had went off somewhere.

"God dammit. Did he bail me and leave me here to rot with these millennium hippies?" But he didn't. She saw him talking to a man behind the bar who was pointing to a podium beside the piano.

Louise went over to them. "Gene, what are you doing?"

"I'm signing up to play!" Gene said with excitement.

"Woah, really? What happened to 'I don't know if I am good enough'?" She imitated him in a deep voice that resembled a Will Ferrel character.

"Did you hear that moron play that shit? If he got that much applause for _that_ piece of garbage there's no way I can be bad!"  
Louise chuckled, "Ohhh-kay then! What are you gonna play, Elton? 'Electric Love: The Story of Man-on-Elephant Sex'?"

"Don't you dare scoff at Topsy's tragic love story! It was only I that had the true genius to put it into a ballad fit for the queen to hear." Gene's song may not have won Louise the science fair, but it definitely set off his love of music even more. It had led him to write more than one musical, several duets, and a nine-minute piano solo to pay tribute to Meatloaf.

"I am going to play, AND SING, my original song 'Classy As Can Be'. A story of true love in the form genuine heartache and honest truth."

"Oh, Gene. No. Please don't. I thought you got over your one-month relationship with that Todd guy."

"Oh, Gene. PLEASE YES. And I will never forgive him for what he did to me!" Gene yelled as he wrote his name quickly onto the pad of paper at the front of the room.

"Oh lord."

A man in a red polyester vest and a clip-on bowtie walked up to the mic. "Alright, everyone. Our next performer will be Gene Belcher."

Gene ran up the stairs while shouting, "Suck it, Louise!"

He plopped down on the piano bench and grabbed the mic away from the red-vested man. "Hello, everybody! My name is Gene, the Piano Queen! This song is an original composition of mine that, truly, speaks from my heart."

Louise rolled her eyes, "Oh boy."

The song started off with a soft, slow melody that was actually very pretty. 

_"My heart belonged to you._

 _Every inch of vein, red and blue._

 _You turned me into someone I never knew._

 _Someone classy, just like you."_

Then the beat started to pick up. Gene got more and more into his music as pounded on the piano keys. 

_"You made me watch TV_

 _and not point out every missed continuity._

 _That's when I knew you were the one._

 _Then there was that time_

 _you helped me think of another rhyme_

 _for sassafras that was not the word 'ass'!_

 _Oh, you and your soul._

 _Made my mind roll._

 _But then you turned around._

 _And made me feel like a clown..._

 _BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU HATED ANGELINA JOLIE!_

 _I thought you were different!_

 _I thought you were 'classy'!_

 _At least that's what you told me!_

 _But how can someone like you_

 _never appreciate_

 _'Kung Fu Panda: Two'?_

 _The greatest woman of our times_

 _just passes right by your shitty eyes._

 _And all this time I thought you knew me!_

 _But I guess you're too..._

 _I guess you're too..._

 _I guess you're too..._

 _classy as can be!"_

When Gene raised his hands off of the keys he was suddenly aware that he had become very sweaty from his passionate performance. He was so focused on whether or not his pit stains were showing through his shirt that he had failed to realize that the audience was actually clapping for him. He leaned into the mic.

"Ha! Thanks, everyone! I hope none of you ever have to experience the heartbreaking trauma that I did to produce that song!"

He ran, or rather swiftly walked, down the stairs to meet up with Louise.

"Holy shit, man! That was actually not as bad as I thought it was gonna be!" Louise said while giving her brother a rare hug.

"It's always better when you hear it with accompaniment and not just me shouting the lyrics to you over breakfast."

"Good point."

Gene and Louise made their way up to the bar to order some drinks for themselves. Everyone was patting Gene on the back for a few minutes until the next act got onto the stage and continued the ninth circle of jazz hell.

After one or two drinks and a couple of jokes making fun of the bartender, Gene felt a hand on his back.

"AH! WHO GOES THERE!" Gene shouted.

A young man, a year or two older than Gene's 18, stood behind him. He had blonde hair, chiseled cheekbones, and a pair of skinny jeans that were way too tight even for his small stature. But Gene wasn't complaining.

"Woah, woah! Take it easy, I'm not here to summon you to a fight to the death, I just wanna say that you were really good up there." The man smiled as Gene tried to find his breath. Louise had seen this from Gene before. Pretty boy, compliments Gene, Gene gets an instant crush, and then throws himself at the guy until he runs away.

"Oh! You really think so?" Louise caught Gene staring at his lips rather than his eyes.

"Uh, of course! You were a nice break between all of...whatever this nonsense is. You're Gene, right?"

Gene nodded with his mouth open.

"I'm Scott, it was nice to meet you." Scott held out his hand. Gene shook it a little too forcefully and with a little too much enthusiasm.

As Scott turned to walk away Gene finally found his loud voice again.

"HEY! I mean...hey. Do you mind if I buy you a drink?" Gene said patting at the barstool next to him.

"Oh, Jesus Christ," Louise butted in. "Yo, Gene. I'm gonna go so I don't have to be a third wheel on you're weird piano date. See ya."

Gene blushed as he watched Louise walk out of the bar.

"Oh, so is this a date now?" Scott asked with a smirk.

"Only if you want it to be," Gene said resting his head onto his hand. The smaller man started to get as red as Gene was. _Score one for the G-Man_.

"Well aren't you smooth, Piano Queen Gene."

"ACTUALLY it's Gene the Piano Queen, and that _is_ Trademark pending."

Scott giggled, "Oh well send my apologies to the Queen's headquarters."

Gene pretended to think for about thirty seconds until he said snottily, "The Queen accepts your apology! Now she would like to know if you were interested in getting a little drunk with her."

The two boys sat by the bar and drank until last call at two in the morning. Gene asked about Scott and what he does and all that jazz. Apparently Scott was 19, originally from the next town over, and was studying at the local college. Gene answered all of Scott's questions about himself and the night was really turning into a good time. When the bartender finally called last call they had lost track of time.

"Oh my god, is it really this late?" Gene said. "I should probably be going home."  
Scott put his hand on Gene's chest to stop him from getting up. They locked eyes as Scott said, "Well...I'd hate to see you go. How about I...uh...see you get home okay?" Gene's heart started racing and his eyes bugged out of his head. Of course he said yes.

By the time they got to the door of the Belchers' apartment the two had their tongues down each other's throats. Gene barely parted his mouth from Scott's as he unlocked the door.

"Hey," Gene whispered, "be quiet my family's sleeping."

Scott kissed Gene one more time before saying, "Got it."

They went up the stairs as quickly and quietly as possible and practically ran into Gene's bedroom. They sloppily took each other's clothes off and made out on the floor for about a half hour until they actually made it to the bed.

Once they got there Scott stopped and said, "Hey, Gene."

"What?" Gene answered out of breath.

"I'm glad we're doing this."  
Gene laughed. "Me too, asshole, now let's get this party STARTED!"

Gene woke up to a small headache and the sound of loud breathing next to him. _Oh shit!_ He suddenly realized what happened last night. And that it was still in his bed snoring at ten in the morning.

He nudged Scott awake. "Hey. Hey!"

"Wha- what?" Scott realized where he was. "Oh, hey," he smiled at Gene, "How are you doing this fine morning?"

"Honestly, after last night, pretty damn good. But now less good because my parents and sisters are sitting just a few feet away from us in the kitchen eating Sunday morning pancakes."

Scott's expression changed. "Oh fuck. Uh...are you out to them?"

The larger boy got confused. "Um, yeah I guess, why?"

"Well...what if you just walked out and introduced me? Act like its all cool and normal that you fucked a stranger last night. Then you walk me to the door and sit down for pancakes like any other Sunday morning."

He thought about it. "You know, Scotty, that just might be crazy enough to work."

After they both got dressed (and honestly made out some more) Gene prepared himself for the upcoming conversation.

"You sure about this?" He asked with hesitation.

"Eh, not really. But your room has no windows and what other choice do we have?"

"Good point."

He sighed as he tentatively opened the door. With Scott behind him he took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen.

"Hello, family! How is everyone doing this fine morning?"

Bob looked up from the newspaper he was holding with a confused look. "Uh, we're good? How are you doing, I guess?"

"I am doing splendidly! In fact, everyone, there is someone I'd like you to meet!"

Louise understood what was going on and loudly groaned, "Oh my god, Gene, you didn't."

Linda said very quickly and worriedly, "Did what? Did what!"

"Oh, just wait and see," Louise said with a grin.

"I don't understand. Is Gene coming out again?" Asked Tina.

"A little!" Gene yelled. "Everyone, meet Scott!" He waved Scott to come out from the hallway. Scott gave a little wave and said an awkward, "Hey. I'm Scott."

Bob was the first one to get it. "Oh my god. Gene, really? Why can't you just sneak him out like every other teenager in America!"

"BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME A ROOM WITH NO WINDOWS, DAD!"

Linda gasped as she suddenly got it. "Well he has a point, Bobby."

"Oh my god," groaned Bob, "You have hickies all over both of your necks. You're not good at being subtle."

The teen boys shrugged as Tina said, "Little not-so-subtle love bites, aw."

Gene glanced at the floor, grabbed Scott's hand, and mumbled, "Well I guess I'll see Scott out now!"

"Please," Bob said disapprovingly.

Once they got down to the bottom of the stairs Scott awkwardly waved at Gene and said, "Well this has been fun. And weird. But mostly fun. See you around?"

Gene closed the door behind him as he walked outside and said, "It really was fun. Next time at your place maybe?" He shoved a wadded up piece of paper with his phone number on it into his hand.

Scott grinned. "Definitely, Queen Gene."

Gene blushed as Scott went in for one last kiss.

After they said their goodbyes Gene made his way up the stairs and sat himself down at the kitchen table. He grabbed himself some pancakes and began to chow down when he looked up to find has family staring at him.

"What?"

"Really? 'What?'!" Bob shouted.

"Oh come on, Bobby, calm down," Linda said stroking him on the back.

The father sighed. "You're right. Can I just ask you a question, Gene?"

"Uh, sure."

"Were you...careful?" All three children made gagging noises.

"Ah, sick!" Louise screamed.

"Ugh, yes Dad, what is this 1957?" Gene answered.

"Alright well, just eat your pancakes then." The family sat quietly and ate as Bob patted his son on the back.

"Thanks, Dad."

"No problem, son."


End file.
